Sisterhood of the Traveling Tyrants

This weekend I saw the following news story:

Gabby Reece "Huffington Post" Article


Part of the news story was about her new book and the things that she says about her marriage.  The rest of the story was about how many women she pissed off.  How many feminist groups where protesting her book.  How many hate Tweets she was getting about how her book will set woman back to the 40s and 50s.  I was so outraged by the criticism that she was getting that I couldn't stop myself from pausing the TV almost every 30 seconds and waving my hands and yelling at the TV.  You'd have thought I was watching Dr. Phil.  (Which, by the way, if you saw the Dr. Phil from Friday, April 12, you would know that I spent 95% of the time yelling at the screen.  But I digress)

This story enraged me but not for the reason that you may think.  I think that what sets us back 50 or 60 years as women is the fact that some women still haven't embraced Sisterhood in all forms.  

How does the type of marriage that Gabby Reece chooses to have change my marriage?  Sound like another "hot topic" issue currently going on in this country?  I listen to Gabby's interview and then looked up everything I could about her book online.  And do you know what?  I woke up this morning and my marriage was still the same!  Well except for the fact that I haven't yet been able to convince my husband to let Johnny Depp live with us now that he is divorced.  

So is this what "Women's Groups" think of us as women?  That we are so blindly stupid and naive that we can hear what Gabby Reece thinks of marriage and we will all collectively loose our shit an be brain washed by the horrible servitude of her marriage.  She is writing a book about what worked for her.  Nothing I read said that she is selling a lifestyle or saying that anyone else has to live her experience.  She is just saying, "Here is what I chose to do and it worked for me."  And for that she is getting ripped to shreds and getting hate Tweets.  WTF?  Really people, you have to realize that even the word "Hate Tweet" deflates your point from the get go.  

But let's go back to the most important word I said above, "Choice".  As in, her choice.  And aren't we supposed to be all for that.  Freedom of Choice?  I guess it's just freedom of choice as long as you act like the woman that they think you are supposed to be.  And this doesn't set us back to the 40s and 50s.  Puh-Leeze!  Back then women lived those marriages largely because they didn't have a choice.  And that was wrong.  But a modern and successful woman is saying that the way she chooses to live her marriage makes her happy and works for her.  Her choice.  Say it with me, "Her choice."  And you all have the right to read that and think, "Oh hell no!  That wouldn't fly with me."  Then perfect.  Don't do it.  That's the great thing that the Women's Movement gave us, choice.  And we should celebrate that.  And honor all the women who came before us and paved the way.  They fought hard for us to enjoy more freedom than we've ever had before. 

However, the one area where women fall tragically short is supporting each other's choices.  We are our own worst enemies.  Gabby Reece doesn't get to be happy and live whatever kind of marriage she wants to have?  Really?  There is no force here, there is no coercion.  There is a woman who is making a choice of how to live her life and she's happy and she wrote a book about it.  End of story.  

The fact that women are the first to jump on the hate campaign is disgusting and tragic.  We are a sisterhood and should support each other.  This book isn't about advocating that this marriage is the only kind f marriage or the right kind of marriage.  It's just her kind of marriage.  And as women we should support another woman's right to make choices in her life and steer that in whatever direction she chooses.  

Below is an excerpt from NOWs website*:
The National Organization for Women (NOW) is the largest organization of feminist activists in the United States. NOW has 500,000 contributing members and 550 chapters in all 50 states and the District of Columbia.

Since its founding in 1966, NOW's goal has been to take action to bring about equality for all women. NOW works to eliminate discrimination and harassment in the workplace, schools, the justice system, and all other sectors of society; secure abortion, birth control and reproductive rights for all women; end all forms of violence against women; eradicate racism, sexism and homophobia; and promote equality and justice in our society.

"Bring about equality for all women" - Unless you do something we don't like and then we will hunt you down like a wolf.

"Eliminate discrimination and harassment [edited] in all sectors of society "  - Unless you say something we don't like and then we will slow roast you over a pit.

*I'm not trying to pick on NOW.  They were just one of the critics and so I sought out their website because I figured it would have the most comprehensive mission statement.  

So this dear friends is what had be yelling and gesturing at the TV for about 10 minutes during the news story.  I hate hypocrisy.  And to maliciously go after a woman for writing a book about her experience is just plain wrong.  Yes, some women might read this book and think, "This speaks to me.  I like what it says."  Some women will read it and think, "This is nice.  I'm glad it worked for her.  Doesn't sound like it's for me though."  And some women might read it and think, "What a crock of shit.  I would be miserable being like this."  And out of all of those women, they should have the right to live the kind of marriage they want and do what makes their life happy.  Or even live a life without marriage and be perfectly happy.  

It's all about that little word, Choice.  Doing what you do that works best for you.  And for all my sisters and sister-friends, I love and support you in all you do and in all paths that you choose.
Peace be with you.