It has been said that we get our ideas of our own self worth from the people in our lives that mean the most to us. We can also get our beliefs about ourselves from those we meet casually or even just once. Impressions that people make on us can have a profound impact on our self image. In other words, if the people in our lives give us a sense that they love us and we mean something to them, then we feel like we have value and are worth something.
The problem with that thinking is that over the course of time people's feelings change. People's opinions can shift. If you truly base your own self worth on someone else's perspective, what might happen to you (mentally) if those same people turn their backs on you? What might you do if one of those people is your spouse and now they want a divorce? How do you reconcile the fact that the person who promised to love you forever, no longer does?
How do you judge your self worth if you've been laid off of fired from a job you hard at and meant a great deal to you? What do you do when even if only subconsciously, the person you have entrusted with your self worth moves away, leaves you, lets you down, or dies?
People also have a bad habit of attributing their sense of worth and self esteem to the material things they have been able to achieve in life, or more to the point; what they have not been able to achieve. People often have a skewed perception that the accumulation of money, wealth and things puts a higher value on their own lives. Things don't make people happy nor do they raise or lower your own value.
Believing that your self worth comes from others or other things can be problematic. You can be trapped in a vicious cycle of never living up to your own potential because you are constantly searching in the wrong direction to get the approval from those that matter in your life. You are not here on Earth to live your life through other people. This is your life and you have the God-given right to live it as you please. If you spend your life trying to always accumulate the next big electronic that hits the market or that new car in the showroom, you will never have the time to sit back and enjoy what you already have. Instead you will be a complainer. Always voicing your opinion about what is not right with the stuff you have. "I wish I had this," and "I need this". You are so worried about what other people have compared to you. You'll wind up a bitter, unhappy person that most people won't even want to be around.
Your self worth should never be determined by what other people think. You are not a commodity whose value changes with the whim of a fickle market. There is nothing wrong with you when people reject you or people hurt you. Have you lost the value that you had yesterday because today someone no longer wants to be your friend? No, I suspect the problem might be with the other person. Are you somehow worth less today than you were yesterday because someone today cursed you out? Of course not. You are the same special person you have always been. Their opinion has changed or their feelings but you haven’t changed.
Never allow what others say about you or what someone does to you to affect the way you feel about yourself. There is not another you anywhere else in existence. When people let you down. When things don’t go your way. When people curse you, bless them. When people reject you, know that you deserve to be loved just the way you are. By putting a stop to the ugliness and bitterness that causes them to act the way they do you prevent their words and actions from dragging you under. You should never let someone else’s attitude problem or their hatred tear you down.
Don’t believe me? Have you ever been in a great mood only to lose it when someone in a bad mood enters the room and their mood permeates the room? Now their behavior and attitude has rubbed off on everyone else. You’ve allowed someone else to dictate to you what kind of mood to have.
Turn the tables on them and don’t allow them to affect you. Ignore them. Concentrate on what is good in life. Instead of letting that person dictate your actions, you be in control and affect their mood for the better.
Don’t allow other people to determine your self worth. Don’t let your circumstances dictate to you your self esteem. Don’t allow Hollywood, the internet, your spouse, your parents, your children or even your own perception of yourself to determine your self worth. You need to know that your inner beauty far out weighs what people see on the outside. Your compassion and empathy towards others far surpass your self loathing or self pity.
Understand that you don’t need permission from someone else to know that you are worthy. You are worthy simply “because” and not for any other reason. Don’t wait for someone to bestow that upon you. Gift yourself with the knowledge that no one can give or take away your worth.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
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