I've had a lot of friends lately who have been struggling with issues of perception and self-worth. Hell, who doesn't struggle with that? I've had friends and family for a very long time now telling me that I need to start writing, start a blog. I have stories to tell. But to be honest I really struggled with the idea. It felt presumptuous to me. I wondered, "Who am I and what do I have to offer that is so special?" Also, it felt intimidating. Putting myself out there and sharing my point of view seemed overwhelming and made me feel self-conscience and vulnerable.
But a very dear friend of mine reached out to me last night and shared a story. I realized that we all have stories to share and we can all relate to each others joy and pain and fear and love and miracle and wonder and loneliness and loss and rejoicing; we are all part of the same huge human experience and that is what connects us. It's not just my stories I'm telling but rather I'm talking about the things that connect us, the things that make us who we are.
This theme has been all around me lately. What are we made of and what defines us? We all have things that we carry with us. The things that make up our life story. Too often we end up defining ourselves by our past and our mistakes. We carry these experiences with us because we figure that if we carry them long enough then we can somehow "pay" for who we are or choices we may have made. This is where I have decided that life is like a Crazy Quilt. Each moment, each choice, each life experience gets sewn into the quilt and the sum of those parts becomes what we are as a whole. Each piece on it's own doesn't mean anything unless it's attached to the others. So you can take that decision or that moment that you have been carrying with you and you can let it define you or you can look at it and realize that it's just one piece of who you are. It's not the only thing that defines you, it's just a part of your story.
So there you have it. The first of many posts and ponderings. I'd like to thank my friends and my family for being so relentless in their pursuit of me. :) This is a big step out of my comfort zone. And thank you to my friend who made me realize that I do have something worth saying. Love you!
My theory is that you can't swing a dead cat in a room full of women without hitting someone with self-worth issues. But we are all taught to hide it, or pretend to ignore it, or worse are the women who think that they are the only one's going through it.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's time for us to not let our fear define who we are but rather be a part of what we can become.
So glad to see you doing this!
ReplyDeleteWell said, Christie!
ReplyDeleteThanks guys!
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