While watching “Wife Swap” last night I was disturbed and
frustrated by the homophobic attitude of the “Christian” family. Now, you might argue that the basis of that
sentence is, in itself, a contradiction.
After all, it is a reality show and not something that anyone should
look to for a lesson in spirituality, morality, or humanity. Being that it’s main function is to entertain
us, do we really need to take it that seriously? But when the children argued that a person
can choose not to be gay just like someone can choose not to be a murderer, I
had to take it seriously. Did we really
just compare being gay to being a killer?
I’m surrounded by so many open-hearted and open minded people that
sometimes I get startled when I see such blind ignorance. And it’s frustrating to me when people hide
behind religion and refuse to grow or challenge themselves to learn.
The leaders of the Christian right don't seem interested in
acknowledging the complexities that surround the issue of homosexuality. They
have glossed over the difficult questions and gone straight for the emotional
jugular, talking about family values, the future of our children, and the
decline of our nation, in order to rally an American moral majority behind
them. But once again, what they are really concerned about is pushing their
Christian moral agenda because, let's face it, they don't really care what the
majority of Americans think.
Let's go back to the question of whether homosexuality is a
choice. Let's say, for the sake of argument, that Christians are right in
believing that it is a choice, so that once same-sex marriage is legally
approved in society, numerous people begin converting to the "gay
lifestyle" and the number of same-sex marriages begin to rival that of
heterosexual marriages. What if homosexuals were to manage a moral majority that
began to view heterosexuality as unnatural? Or perhaps more realistically, a
majority that viewed the church's religious prohibition against same-sex
marriage as illegal discrimination? Imagine how it would be for them as a Christian
right religious community to have to fight for their civil liberty against such
an onslaught. That is exactly the position they have put the gay community in
when they rally public opinion against their right to marry.
Now let me settle here and now the issue of whether or not a
church should have the right to refuse to perform marriages for same sex
couples. The answer is a resounding “YES”. That is the whole problem with this
issue. It’s a matter of civil
rights. Some churches will not perform a
marriage for someone unless they are members of that church. Is that discrimination? No. A
church and it’s members should have the freedom to worship and follow the tenets of that religion as they see fit.
And that is exactly how far the government and our churches should
mix. We guarantee the right to Freedom
of Religion and that should be the extent of it. The problem is we don't feel the need to go
to such lengths to safeguard our religious freedom because we smugly take for
granted that it will always be there. Such complacency has blinded us from
seeing how we actually threaten religious freedom when people dismiss gay
rights on the grounds that homosexuals choose their life.
Are Christians afraid that supporting same-sex marriage will send
a message to the gay community that Christians approve of homosexuality? Well,
believe me, the gay community is under no such delusion. For years they have
listened to arguments against homosexuality ad
nauseam and can even quote
all the pertinent Bible verses back by heart.
Tell me this, have you read Leviticus lately? Do you associate with people with tattoos or
pierced ears? Shame on you. Do you own any clothing that is made with two
different fabrics? Oopsie, that’s in
there too. Guess you aren't the
Christian you thought you were after all.
If the Christian community so concerned about the message being
sent, why not look at it as sending a message that they approve of committed
relationships and sexual responsibility? Aren't these the values worth fighting
for and worth encouraging?
It
is high time that we grow up and learn to play fair. Freedom for us means
freedom for someone else too, even our fellow Americans in the gay and lesbian
community. Is that too high a price to pay? Of course not. Civil liberties is
what gives us the freedom to pursue our moral convictions in this country in
the first place. It is what guarantees a future for ourselves and our children
in which we will be able to practice our religious beliefs free of harassment
and fear.
I’ll
close with two of my favorite quotes from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. In the end, when I see people speaking out of
fear and ignorance, I can’t be angry. I
just have to hope that their hearts and minds are opened to love. There was a point in the history of this
country when people stood up for civil rights even when it wasn’t popular or
easy. And we will keep standing and keep
fighting until we really are all treated as equally as we are created.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate
cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step
toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the
tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
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